Do you have a money love language?
Wondering how to budget as a couple? Start by asking whether your partner has a money love language or prefers other acts of affection. Not sure? Keep reading to learn more about money love languages and budgeting tips for couples.
How will you show your Valentine that you love them? Chocolates? Flowers? Dinner? Diamonds? You might be surprised to discover that your special person doesn’t want expensive gifts. In fact, they might prefer displays of love that are totally free! Take the five love languages quiz now to find out you and your partner’s preferred money love language.
Talking different languages
What happens when you and your partner express love differently? That’s the question Dr Gary Chapman asks in his book the Five Love Languages. Chapman was working as a marriage counsellor when it occurred to him that relationship friction was often caused by partners speaking different love languages.
One partner, for example, might value physical affection (“I feel loved when you hug me”), while the other might value service (“I feel loved when I see how hard you work for our family.”)
Five love languages revealed
Dr Chapman uncovered five different love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
- Receiving gifts
Is your or your partner’s love language words of affirmation?
A person who values words of affirmation feels loved when you tell them so. They love it when you write heartfelt messages on a card, text them a love note or sign off with an ‘xo.’ Saying “I love you” goes a long way.
Is your or your partner’s love language words of quality time?
A person who values quality time feels loved when you set aside time to be with them. To make their day, clear your calendar and turn off your phone. But don’t just be there, BE THERE. Forget about a box of chocolates – take them on a chocolate factory tour!
Is your or your partner’s love language words of physical touch?
A person who speaks the love language of physical touch communicates love through non-verbal cues. This may include kissing and cuddling, but it can also include a warm smile, a subtle look and hand-holding. As you might imagine, long-distance relationships are a challenge for these folk.
Is your or your partner’s love language acts of service?
A person who values acts of service sounds suspiciously like someone who demands foot massages to feel loved. Not necessarily! This is the language of someone who cares less about what you say and more about what you DO. When you take out the bin or make a cup of tea for them—and they do the same for you—they interpret that as caring for each other.
Is your or your partner’s love language receiving gifts?
Last but not least, there are those people for whom receiving gifts is important. Gifts speak of romance and a souvenir says you were thinking of them. But that doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money. A seashell could be a reminder of your holiday together or a handmade card could commemorate a special occasion.
Discover your love language
If interpreting these love languages wasn’t complex enough, we also need to take social pressures into account. Advertisers tell us that the best way to show our partners we love them is to shower them in gifts, especially on Valentine’s Day.
Taking the love languages quiz could be a good way to understand what your special person REALLY values. Do you need to spend a lot of money or would they prefer the kind of Valentine gifts that’s totally free?
To find out what love language you and your partner speak, Dr Chapman has designed a short quiz. You can take it here for free: Love Languages Free Quiz
What’s your (money) love language?
Money is another potential minefield in relationships. A couple can be very much in love, but have conflicting financial values. This can cause tension. One may be a spender while the other is a saver. Or one may be a risk taker while the other is conservative, and so on.
Figuring out what your money love language is may just help you better understand how to budget as a couple, and get those awkward money conversations flowing. At the same time, you can discuss your financial goals, how you want your future to look and the best way to budget as a couple.
Need help with understanding your partner’s money love language? MyBudget’s free budget template and workbook is a great way to start understanding how to budget as a couple.
If you need personalised help, why not meet with a MyBudget money expert and we’ll help you figure out the best way to budget as a couple and design a customised budget for you for FREE. There’s no pressure to join and the budget is yours to keep.
Ready to find out more? Call 1300 300 922 or get started today
Ready to find out more?
Call 1300 300 922 or get started today
All customised budgets and consultations with money experts are subject to MyBudget’s qualification criteria. We recommend that you read and consider our Product Disclosure Statement.